Saying no when you mean no

one of the hardest things to do when you lack confidence.

If we want to feet truly confident, we must break the habit “of trying to please all people, all of the time. - Gael Lindenfield

Assertive people find it easy to say no when they mean no. They don't worry about being seen in a bad light. They know that just because they've been asked doesn't mean they're under any obligation. Passive people, on the other hand, usually find it hard to refuse.

Say you're asked a favour. It's inconvenient. You'd like to say no.

1. Passive behaviour: Saying, 'yes'while thinking, 'What a nuisance. Oh well!'or making a string of half-hearted excuses in a feeble attempt to avoid causing offence.
2. Aggressive behaviour: A blunt response, probably while thinking, 'Why the ... should I?'
3. Assertive behaviour: A warm, friendly smile, while saying, 'No, I'm sorry it's not convenient. I've made other arrangements'.

In the long run saying yes when you don't mean it only makes things worse for yourself. It puts you at greater risk of stress and lowers your confidence and self-respect.

The important thing is not what they think of me; it is what I think of them. - Queen Victoria