how to build or rebuild trust

This is a character trait very easily determined. It underscores your reliability and predictability. Someone with consistent character is thought to have good judgement in handling situations.

Plain and simple, apply the rule Treat others as you would like to be treated. When you do that, not only are you typically reciprocated but you also exude the character of someone who is trustworthy.

Don t be a gossip. Enough said. You can only be trusted when people know you to be discreet with secrets.

Despite what many say, fighting is a part of any good relationship. The problem is not that couples fight, but how they fight. If you fight unfairly, then you destroy trust. If you fight fairly, you build trust. A fair fight means that you never resort to name calling or putdowns, keep the discussion in the present, don t use phrases that are absolutes (such as you never or you always ), don t bring the other person s family into the issue to support your case or to attack your spouse.

If you are the one who betrayed someone else, you need to come clean. In interpersonal relationships, it s especially important to tell the truth when you would benefit from a lie.If you have betrayed someone, coming clean at your own expense tells the other person that their well being is more important than your own.Denial will only make the other party's distrust run deeper, especially if the truth is already clear.Admit all of your mistakes. Even if there are parts that you can keep hidden without getting caught, you should still reveal them to the other person. Only in admitting all your mistakes can you be forgiven for all of them.

Admitting that you betrayed someone is not going to make things easier immediately. On the contrary, you can expect an emotional outburst yelling, crying, and so on from the other person when she hears you admit your betrayal. But remember, the best way to move on is by putting it all into the open.

This one should be obvious, but unfortunately, sometimes it gets overlooked. How you approach saying your apology will influence whether or not the apology is accepted and you both can move on.When apologizing, avoid justifying your actions.Don t claim that the offended person misunderstood you ( you read that wrong ). Don t deny their hurt ( you didn t even get hurt ). Don t tell a sad tale ( I had a troubled childhood ).The best way to accept responsibility is by recognizing the other person s hurt, saying what you should have done instead, and doing that behavior in the future.Let the person you betrayed know why you are apologizing. If they know that you are apologizing out of guilt and shame, they are more likely to forgive you. If they think that you are apologizing out of pity, they are less likely to forgive you. Pity, unlike guilt and shame, does not show an element of personal responsibility of the offender. Pity also implies that the offender is superior to the offended.

When you violate someone's trust, you may feel so regretful that you have a hard time forgiving yourself for the violation. While a repentant heart is an essential part of making up with the person you betrayed, you also need to accept and learn to forgive yourself after you put the effort into making amends.Remember that no one is perfect. Whether your error in judgment was minor or major, it goes to show that you are only human. Accept your failure, and try to push forward into the future.By clinging to thoughts of past failure, you risk devaluing yourself. Once you begin to have such thoughts, it could zap your motivation for self improvement.

Everybody wants to control personal information.But, for a little while, you may need to forfeit a portion of your privacy for the sake of the person trying to trust you again. By making your life transparent, the other person will be able to confirm with their own eyes that you are not in the midst of another betrayal.This is especially important in romantic relationships broken apart by infidelity. Give your significant other complete, uncensored access to your texts, phone logs, emails, and appointment book for a few weeks to months after your betrayal. Let him or her know where you are and who you are with whenever possible.

Hard feelings are natural after any betrayal. The person who feels betrayed will need to vent their emotions and thoughts to heal. It might be unpleasant for you, but it is essential for the other person.One of the worst things you can do is attempt to get them to shut up while expressing their anger. This action shows that you are not taking this person s feelings seriously.Let the other person vent at their own pace. Everyone goes about things in a different way and in a different time period. Rushing the other person shows a lack of consideration.